Do you make these relationship mistakes?
A matchmaker weighs in on the biggest mistakes people make when they're looking for love.
Dating is hard. Two people have to hang around each other long enough to decide they both like each other. That's no easy task, especially in the digital age. Plus, people often make mistakes that make finding love even harder than it needs to be.
That's why we sat down with Daniella "The Marriage Architect" Rudoff, a matchmaker living in Jerusalem, to learn what mistakes people make on dates. She told us that if you're looking for someone special, whatever you do, don't ...
Let your friends decide for you
You're excited about a new guy or girl, and you talk to your friends, only to discover your friends are super against your prospect. So you cancel your upcoming date.
“I’m talking about a perfectly amazing guy, or a perfectly beautiful and smart girl," explained Rudoff.
According to Rudoff, that's a huge mistake. Friends can be useful advisors, and there's nothing wrong with letting them help you navigate the dating world. But you shouldn't let them stop you from trying out someone you're into.
"I feel like people don’t give people enough of a chance," Rudoff told us.
Slow down the momentum
It's easy to have a first date and then wait days or even weeks before reaching out to someone you fancy, only to find they've lost interest in the meantime.
"It’s important to do things quickly," said Rudoff. "That’s how it works in the dating world."
You might be afraid of seeming too eager if you reach out right away. But Rudoff says there's a difference between eager and desperate. "You don’t have to be overly anxious and desperate," Rudoff explained. "But you can say in a very gentlemanly manner, “I had a very nice time. Would you like to go out again?”
Be a brick wall
Being emotionally closed off can be a serious dating problem. "When you find somebody you really like, don’t be bashful about talking about your feelings," explained Rudoff. "It has to be done gradually, but it has to be done."
That doesn't mean you should pour out your feelings on a first date. But if you want to start a long-term relationship, you have to show you care.
"A healthy relationship progresses naturally, but it takes effort," she continued. "Someone always needs to take a step."
Forget to be human
Texting makes it all to easy to virtually avoid human contact with someone you're dating. "We all do it, but it's dangerous," Rudoff said.
While texting can be useful here and there, "it shouldn’t be a replacement for communicating as human beings," she continued. It might be hard to invest real human emotion, but it's the only way to get close to another person.
Waste time with the wrong person
Sometimes, you just want someone, even it it's the wrong person. You can spend months or even years hanging around a girl or guy you don't like all that much.
"I don’t think people realize how much time they’re wasting in their lives," Rudoff explained. "Time flies, and people age."
Rudoff suggests that, if you're dating someone you're not sure about, you should put an "X" on the calendar. When you get to that day, you need to decide how you really feel. "It’s very hard. It’s super hard," said Rudoff. "But you have to do it for yourself. It’s a gift to yourself."
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